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Daisuke and Anne Party with the Fauna

Junction draft delta is done!

2/24/2017

89,000 words

Finished while listening to: I'm Gonna Fly

Now I’m going to read over it again this weekend, and send it out next week to my agent and the (god damn it) epsilon readers. And then. THEN! It goes back to the publishers for another round. As God as my witness this manuscript will be published!

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Land vertebrates

The Convention of Sapient Species, the second largest known multi-timeline legal union, encompasses over a hundred sapient species from nearly as many parallel Earths. A few of those species are related to humans, their timelines having diverged within the last million years. Others are…more distant.

(from top left to bottom)

Vhngbas evolved from teleost fishes after an extinction far worse than the one that killed the dinosaurs of Human Earth. Their pectoral fins and fused pelvic fins form three pillar-like hooves, while the dorsal and adipose finds curl around the hearing/vocalization openings in their breathing chambers, and a hand derived from the caudal fin manipulates tools. Sapient-rights violations by the largest vhngba social hegemony resulted in sanction and embargo from CSS members, intensifying mutual hostility between Vhngba and Human Earths.

Although they walk on four limbs, pwikpwuks are not tetrapods like humans, but chondrichthyes, related to sharks. Like dondokodondons (below), pwikpwuks’ cartilaginous internal skeletons are not strong enough to support their weight. Their external skeletons of dentine support their limbs and muscles. Denticles also cover the sensitive manipulatory barbels, allowing pwikpwuks to capture food. Relations with Human Earth have been strained since a homeless man was unfortunately devoured by pwikpwuk tourists in San Francisco.

The dondokodondons are ostracoderms, and split from the lineage that produced humans just before the evolution of jaws. Dondokodondons’ ancestors evolved calciferous bone, but grow it as an exoskeleton outside their skin. Their skull-like cephalons are supported by three limbs, homologous to the pectoral fins and tails of their swimming ancestors. They grasp tools and process food with tooth-covered radulae. Diplomatic relations with Human Earth are limited to trade in manufactured goods conducted in a single space station. Rumor is that dondokodondons find humans creepily squishy.

Like tetrapods, tlaatlhhatls evolved from lobe-finned fishes, but conquered the land independently. Their four fins are each split into four pairs of branching digits they use to walk, process food. manipulate artifacts, and signal emotion. The evolution of their third pituitary eye is mysterious. The human United Nations enjoys close relations with the tlaatlhatl planetary government, but efforts to promote tourism have proved largely fruitless. The blame likely falls on human arachnophobia.

Most basal among the craniates of the CSS are the 211-115s, descended from cyclostomes most closely related to Human Earth’s lampreys and hagfish. Jawless, 211-115s process food with their forelimbs (also used to manipulate tools) and a forked, toothed radula. Three pairs of lungs in the upper ribcage draw in air and produce the harmonic triads that compose 211-115 languages. Their integument of hollow keratin cones insulates their bodies and (in the case of the ear-horns) focus sound. Current diplomatic relations between Human and 211-115 Earths are warm.

This one is inspired by JayRockinDeinocheirus, and Viergacht. Get well soon, Viergacht!

Done while listening to Dora and Friends (con todos mis amigos).

This one is dedicated to :iconviergacht: Get well soon!
Done while listening to Dora and Friends (con todos mis amigos).

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Biomes of Junction
An overview of the alien biomes traversed by the Houlihan-Matsumori Expedition ( www.thekingdomsofevil.com/?pag… )

From top left to bottom right:

The Glasslands (no Nun name)
Silicates dissolved in mild sulfuric acid, warmed by geothermal heat. Think living fishbowls--giant diatoms.

The Wormwood (Sokok Yo Dung---the Country of Worm Trees, Sokok Kubilon---the Uninitiated Country)
Diploid treeworms give birth to haploid workers, soldiers, and photosynthesizers, including meters-tall wormtrees.

The Toymaker Forest (Sokok Mekaletya---Country of the Small Givers)
Kelptrees crack water and oxygen into hydrogen, sugar and methane. The hydrogen they use to fill balloons for support and propagation. Ring-shaped toymaker worms colonize the wooden skeletons or larger animals, modifying them into mobile nests.

The Lighthouse Zone (Sokok Heng Tokwe--the Ground Sun Country)
Trees reflect light to shaded saplings. Under-story plants utilize piezoelectric sugar crystals and wind and animal movement to kinetosynthesize energy. 

The Sweet Blood Zone, the Oasis (Sokok Ining Eng--the Ripe Blood Country)
A fast-expanding foam is colonized by plant cells. Animals contain hemoglobin-based blood, and are compatible with Earth biochemistry.

Deathwind Valley (Sokok Bou Deibokna--the Country of Death Wind)
Plants absorb oxygen and produce carbon monoxide. Animals utulize structural iron and ferrofluid muscles. Radio signals used for communication.


~~~
Man this was a big one. Done at the Euphoria Hotel in Borovets while listening to Shipstar by Larry Niven and Gregory Benford and Gulp by Mary Roach.
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Calling all Japanese-speakers!
Can you help me with a Japanese conversation in the book I’m writing?

The main character is a Japanese TV star named Daisuke Matsumori. In this introductory scene, Matsumori and his director Yoshida get a call from Takeda, their producer.

Are there any problems with the vocabulary and grammar in the dialogue below? What about the culture and psychology of the characters? Do they seem to be real people?

(scroll down for the English translation)

私が書いているSFの小説の日本語の会話を手伝ってくれるませえんか。 このJunctionという小説の主人公は、日本人のテレビスター、松森大輔です。 この初めのシーンでは、松森さんと吉田監督にプロデューサーの竹田さんから電話が掛かります。

(吉田の携帯が鳴る)

吉田:もしもし? 誰 – ? お、かしこまりました! もちろん。 (松森に携帯を上げる)竹田さんです。

松森:はい?

竹田:君はね、英語話せるよね?

松森:必要ほどできます。 あの、ご存知じないかもしれませんが、撮影の途中でございますし。

竹田:締め切ろ! 荷造りして出発の準備しよ。

松森:出発ですか?

吉田:え? (携帯をつかむ)どうも、松森くん。

(松森は、吉田が携帯をつかんだことに苛立つ。キャリアが低下していることと吉田が尊敬しないことを心配する。)

松森:何が起こっている? どうしたの?

吉田:(松森を追い払う)残念ですけど不可能でございます。 お金はもう。。。キャンセルされた?(顔が赤く変わる)でわ、お帰りになるとおっしゃるんですか。

竹田:(くすくす笑う)まったく帰るつもりはないよ。

松森:どういう意味? (携帯をつかむ)竹田さんは別の場所で撮影させようしますか? この撮影は最後にすると通知いらっしゃいました。 私は健康ではないですし。 そして、東京で、あの、重要な会議がありますし。

竹田:松森くんの奥さんの弁護士たちは待てる。ヘリコプターのほうは待たせないぞ。

松森:(怒りを見せる)いったいなんでヘリコプター?

(ドアが叩かれる。背景で声が聞こえる。竹田は他の人と話している。)

竹田:(上司に話す)はい。 そうでございます。 そういたします。 はい、只今彼らを通知いたします。

竹田:(松森に話す)ただちに飛ぶ準備をして。しなければ、解雇されて、おそらく死んで、日本と人類全体の裏切り者として永遠に非難されるだろう!

吉田:何とおっしゃいます? だれが何をどこまで飛ぶ?

(ヘリコプターが空に現れる。)

語彙や文法に問題はありますか? 人物の心理はどうですか 。本当の人みたいですか。手伝ってくれてどうぞよろしく。


(Note: the translations are intentionally a little un-idiomatic. I want to let the Japanese show through)


(Yoshida’s cell phone rings)

Yoshida: Hello? Who-? Oh, yes, sir! Of course. (he holds the phone out to Matsumori) It’s Mr. Takeda.

Matsumori: Yes?

Takeda: You can speak English, right?

Matsumori: As well as is necessary. Um, you might not be aware of this, sir, but we are in the middle of a shoot…

Takeda: End it! Pack up and prepare for departure.

Matsumori: Departure?

Yoshida: Huh? (grabs the phone back) Thanks, Matsumori.

(Matsumori is irritated that Yoshida grabbed his cell phone. He’s worried that his career is declining and that Yoshida doesn’t respect him.)

Matsumori: What’s going on? What’s wrong?

Yoshida: (waving Matsumori away) Sir, I’m afraid that that is impossible. The money is already—canceled? (His face turns red) What you’re saying, sir, is that we should just go home?

Takeda: (giggles) You’re not going home at all.

Matsumori: What does that mean? (grabs the phone) Are you sending us to a shoot at another location? Sir, I humbly informed you that this shoot was the last. I’m not in good health. And in Tokyo there’s, um, an important meeting.

Takeda: Your wife’s pack of lawyers can wait, little Matsumori. The helicopter won’t.

Matsumori: (allowing his anger to show) What damn helicopter?

(A door slams. Voices can be heard in the background. Takeda is talking to someone else.)

Takeda: (talking to his boss) Yes. That is right, sir. I will do so, sir. Yes, I am humbly informing them now, sir.

Takeda: (talking to Matsumori) Just be ready to fly immediately. If you don’t, you will be fired and maybe dead and condemned forever as traitors to Japan and the whole human race!

Yoshida: Sir, what are you saying? Who’s flying what to where?

(a helicopter appears in the sky.)

Thank you very much for your help.

Junction needs more work, and I need your help

Well nuts. The first-round publishers have all rejected Junction. The feedback from them consistently faults characterization. The characters just don’t click with them.

There are more publishers out there, but before I start submitting again, I have to revise. I have to fix those characters. Here’s my plan so far, and I’d appreciate your advice on all of it:

1) work through exercises on characterization do you guys know any good ones?

2) draw the characters (which helped in previous books. Plus, it’s therapeutic :) if you’ve read Junction, how do YOU picture the characters?

3) read through the whole book again (I have to do that on my own)

4) and of course, get help from beta-readers…gamma-readers? Are you interested in reading a book about exploring a series of hostile alien environments? Also political intrigue and murder?

If so, send me a message and I’ll send you Junction in your preferred format. With your help, the world can come to know the wonder of the Dire Shmoo.

Calling all Japanese-speakers!
Can you help me with a Japanese conversation in the book I’m writing?

The main character is a Japanese TV star named Daisuke Matsumori. In this introductory scene, Matsumori and his director Yoshida get a call from Takeda, their producer.

Are there any problems with the vocabulary and grammar in the dialogue below? What about the culture and psychology of the characters? Do they seem to be real people?

(scroll down for the English translation)

私が書いているSFの小説の日本語の会話を手伝ってくれるませえんか。 このJunctionという小説の主人公は、日本人のテレビスター、松森大輔です。 この初めのシーンでは、松森さんと吉田監督にプロデューサーの竹田さんから電話が掛かります。

(吉田の携帯が鳴る)

吉田:もしもし? 誰 – ? お、かしこまりました! もちろん。 (松森に携帯を上げる)竹田さんです。

松森:はい?

竹田:君はね、英語話せるよね?

松森:必要ほどできます。 あの、ご存知じないかもしれませんが、撮影の途中でございますし。

竹田:締め切ろ! 荷造りして出発の準備しよ。

松森:出発ですか?

吉田:え? (携帯をつかむ)どうも、松森くん。

(松森は、吉田が携帯をつかんだことに苛立つ。キャリアが低下していることと吉田が尊敬しないことを心配する。)

松森:何が起こっている? どうしたの?

吉田:(松森を追い払う)残念ですけど不可能でございます。 お金はもう。。。キャンセルされた?(顔が赤く変わる)でわ、お帰りになるとおっしゃるんですか。

竹田:(くすくす笑う)まったく帰るつもりはないよ。

松森:どういう意味? (携帯をつかむ)竹田さんは別の場所で撮影させようしますか? この撮影は最後にすると通知いらっしゃいました。 私は健康ではないですし。 そして、東京で、あの、重要な会議がありますし。

竹田:松森くんの奥さんの弁護士たちは待てる。ヘリコプターのほうは待たせないぞ。

松森:(怒りを見せる)いったいなんでヘリコプター?

(ドアが叩かれる。背景で声が聞こえる。竹田は他の人と話している。)

竹田:(上司に話す)はい。 そうでございます。 そういたします。 はい、只今彼らを通知いたします。

竹田:(松森に話す)ただちに飛ぶ準備をして。しなければ、解雇されて、おそらく死んで、日本と人類全体の裏切り者として永遠に非難されるだろう!

吉田:何とおっしゃいます? だれが何をどこまで飛ぶ?

(ヘリコプターが空に現れる。)

語彙や文法に問題はありますか? 人物の心理はどうですか 。本当の人みたいですか。手伝ってくれてどうぞよろしく。


(Note: the translations are intentionally a little un-idiomatic. I want to let the Japanese show through)


(Yoshida’s cell phone rings)

Yoshida: Hello? Who-? Oh, yes, sir! Of course. (he holds the phone out to Matsumori) It’s Mr. Takeda.

Matsumori: Yes?

Takeda: You can speak English, right?

Matsumori: As well as is necessary. Um, you might not be aware of this, sir, but we are in the middle of a shoot…

Takeda: End it! Pack up and prepare for departure.

Matsumori: Departure?

Yoshida: Huh? (grabs the phone back) Thanks, Matsumori.

(Matsumori is irritated that Yoshida grabbed his cell phone. He’s worried that his career is declining and that Yoshida doesn’t respect him.)

Matsumori: What’s going on? What’s wrong?

Yoshida: (waving Matsumori away) Sir, I’m afraid that that is impossible. The money is already—canceled? (His face turns red) What you’re saying, sir, is that we should just go home?

Takeda: (giggles) You’re not going home at all.

Matsumori: What does that mean? (grabs the phone) Are you sending us to a shoot at another location? Sir, I humbly informed you that this shoot was the last. I’m not in good health. And in Tokyo there’s, um, an important meeting.

Takeda: Your wife’s pack of lawyers can wait, little Matsumori. The helicopter won’t.

Matsumori: (allowing his anger to show) What damn helicopter?

(A door slams. Voices can be heard in the background. Takeda is talking to someone else.)

Takeda: (talking to his boss) Yes. That is right, sir. I will do so, sir. Yes, I am humbly informing them now, sir.

Takeda: (talking to Matsumori) Just be ready to fly immediately. If you don’t, you will be fired and maybe dead and condemned forever as traitors to Japan and the whole human race!

Yoshida: Sir, what are you saying? Who’s flying what to where?

(a helicopter appears in the sky.)

Thank you very much for your help.

Comments


Add a Comment:
 
:icontwoworldsonekingdom:
twoworldsonekingdom Featured By Owner Jun 25, 2016
So, you're the creator of the Speculative Dinosaur Project?
Reply
:iconbensen-daniel:
bensen-daniel Featured By Owner Jul 13, 2016
Editor and one of the founding members anyway
Reply
:icontwoworldsonekingdom:
twoworldsonekingdom Featured By Owner Jul 13, 2016
Pleasure to meet you. I've been looking into this project recently and I find it VERY fascinating
Reply
:iconheliosmegistos:
HeliosMegistos Featured By Owner May 20, 2016
That's for the watch :)
Reply
:iconbensen-daniel:
bensen-daniel Featured By Owner May 21, 2016
No problem :) I love alt-hist :)
Reply
:iconheliosmegistos:
HeliosMegistos Featured By Owner May 21, 2016
Same here, fair warning that what I do have has mature content and is pretty dystopian although it varies from setting to setting. It's the draw back of having Telepaths of my own making in my settings.
Reply
:iconheliosmegistos:
HeliosMegistos Featured By Owner May 18, 2016
Do you happen to know if the Speculative Dinosaur Project is still around in any form at all? I'll I've been able to find is the old site in Web archive form which naturally is missing lots of images.
Reply
:iconbensen-daniel:
bensen-daniel Featured By Owner May 21, 2016
I don't think so. :( I have all the old Spec stuff on an external harddrive, but I just don't have time to put it online.
Reply
:iconheliosmegistos:
HeliosMegistos Featured By Owner May 21, 2016
Ahh no worries, I actually found a web archive version of the old site, it's not perfect eg missing images and some of the later updates but it's there.
Reply
:iconbanvivirie:
Banvivirie Featured By Owner Nov 22, 2015  Professional Traditional Artist
Thank you for watching me! :la:
Reply
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